Swag

Swag is a complex skill that is nearly impossible to learn. It is said that he who embraces swag can rule the universe. That is what Le Swaggar Army did with it.

History
Swag was first invented in the 17th century when a chicken put on a pair of sunglasses. This was deemed "swagger" by everyone who saw it, and thus, swag was born.

Since then, swag as gradually evolved over the years. Now, to have swag, one must do much more than just putting on sunglasses. Though learning swag is nearly impossible, you can get some amount of swag yourself by reading below.

Obtaining Swag
It is nearly impossible to obtain as much swag as... Oh, Sniper Kirby. Or Le Swaggar Army. (They even have it in their name!) But, it has been proven that you too can have some amount of swag. It is hard to do, but not impossible. Here is how to start when obtaining swag:
 * 1) Drink soda. Remember that soda can't actually brainwash you. Forget that #s0dafr33 crap. The first step to having swag is to reject conspiracy theories, and what better way to do that than to drink some soda.
 * 2) Buy a swagger hat. One of the most important steps to getting swag is to wear a cool hat. Get a cap with the word "OBEY" on the front. Or wear a fedora. Whichever you choose, you will look swagger. And looking swagger will change to being swagger. Just keep following this.
 * 3) Start playing COD. This is one of the most important steps to becoming swagger. All you have to do is buy COD, or any kind of super popular first-person shooter, put it in your console, and turn it on. Start playing COD. Get good at it. Become an MLG pro at it. If you can successfully do this, you are one step closer to having maximum swag and you are already a pretty swagger person.

If you were able to achieve the requirements above, you should be roughly 70-80% more swagger. Next, the steps to obtaining maximum swag are more complicated, and nearly impossible to do perfectly. But if you do, you will have as much swag as Daroach.
 * 1) Start t4lk1ng l1k3 th1$. Using 1337 (leet) speak is a critical step in becoming swagger. However, you must know exactly when to use it, and when not to use it. If you walk around in public u$1ng th1$ m3th0d 0f c0mmun1c4ti0n, you won't look swagger. You will look like an idiot. Use 1337 speak while online, or while pwning n00bs on COD. This is truly swagger.
 * 2) Get a cool name. The same way Daroach is known as "#GETT1NP13Z", you need to get a swagger nickname. Be sure to use a hashtag, and spell it out using 1337 speak.
 * 3) Form a clan/army. The next step is to gather some nearby swaggers, and form a group. You won't be able to achieve universe-bending levels of swag yourself.
 * 4) Train. Start training. You need to learn how to defeat your enemies quickly, and you need to grow your army. It will take you and your fellow swaggers many years to master swag, but if you are determined, you may eventually gain the highest levels of swag possible.

Now, if you have successfully built up swag to levels that make people fear you (which probably took at least 30 years), you and your clan should now be able to start acheiving maximum swag by ruling the world. Le Swaggar Army took over Dream Land, and your clan, whatever you chose to name it, is now about to do the same. You need to rebel against whoever is now in power, and lead your swagger troops into battle. An intese action sequence will follow, and if you've done everything correctly, you should win.

This is how Le Swaggar Army gradually built up and took over the dream land. They used this method, and were a great force. However, they only started ruling the world when The Prophecy of Meta Knight camce true.

If you now are the ruler of the universe, congratulations! You have successfully achieved copius amounts of swag. Have fun ruling the world.

Trivia

 * Le Swaggar Army has copius amounts of swag.
 * So does Sniper Kirby.